Monday, 31 December 2007

Born of Frustration

I spent an unreasonably long time trying to achieve one orgasm last night - 'trying', and I think we all know what that means, from about half past ten (c.10:30) to one minute past 1 (01:01), unsuccessfully. Until the last half hour or so, however, orgasm wasn't on my mind; I was merely enjoying myself. Alas, no luck.

This brings back memories of passionate nights with various ladies (one in particular springs to mind) wherein, through cunnilingus, fingering, coitus and even dry sex or passionate kisses, I managed to induce orgasm once or more for her, while never even coming close myself. I'd like to say that it's because I'm a selfless giver, but that isn't the case; when thrown into the moment, although I give all I can get, sometimes I just can't reach climax. I suppose that's beneficial for the lady who (hey, she just signed on MSN! Weird!) just keeps on wanting more from the young and keen boy - and I do like pleasing ladies, so I guess that, although it's frustrating when on my own, an occasional lack of ability to orgasm works in my favour... especially when it's mistaken for an ability to 'get hard again rather easily'. Now, if only I had a girl to demonstrate this with...

When I finally did orgasm last night / this morning, I ended up in the bathroom, cleaning my teeth (which I realised I hadn't done yet). The look on my face in the mirror was priceless. My hair was in its natural place, although somewhat askew - presumably through me running my hand through it; my eyes, a deep blue as is normal, were slightly less open than usual; the place just below them was flushed bright red, a colour which crept down to my cheeks. I looked slightly dishevelled, vaguely flushed, and actually unusually sultry.

Any thoughts of "hey, I'm actually rather attractive post-orgasm" flittered away as I sank into my soft, king-sized bed, clutched my toy rabbit, and drifted off into a bizarrely dream-filled slumber, which culminated about an hour ago... three o'clock post meridan. I do love holidays.

Saturday, 29 December 2007

The way my mind works

This clip hits all the right buttons: sexy East Asian girl with ulterior motive; seduction involving a long, deep kiss; oral sex both ways; sex when it probably shouldn't be happening and just the right length for a scene too.

But that's not what struck me about it first time around. What got me was that the second piece of music appears to be an odd, rather hacked version of The Eye of the Tiger. You couldn't really call it anything else.

Weird, isn't it, that I notice these things when I really should be concentrating on the other elements of the medium?

Friday, 28 December 2007

Ooh, ooh, choc-o-late

When I was in my third year at university, my sex drive decreased, so naturally I did the first thing that made sense to me... I told my gay, masturbation-obsessed friend about it.

He advised chocolate.

I understand his reasoning; the cocoa beans do contain endorphins and I suppose they make you feel happy enough and susceptible to love and sex feelings. Then again, so do anti-depressants, and I was put on those for a while in my first year which then killed my sex drive totally. The problem was, I was still as susceptible to love as I have always been - going to groups I was part of to steal glances at the attractive girls around my age, but never talking to them past the occasional smile or quip; sitting next to the girls I was friends with in lectures merely to make them laugh; flirting with girls over MSN because I could - all the things I did, except masturbation. I just couldn't do it.

Naturally, I was sceptical. Maybe I'd just gone off sex, because the love (read: 'crushes') bit was still there. But he knows a lot about the subject (read: too much), so I thought, why not?

So I ate some chocolate. It had no effect.*1

I got rather a lot of chocolate for Christmas, and it's been having a very strange effect on me. This is, of course, besides playing merry hell with my skin (tea tree oil, why do you fail me?) and making me feel very very fat.
It's been messing up my body while making my mind race ahead. Namely, I think I'm horny, but before I can break out the soft porn (or, let's be honest here, my overactive imagination), I realise I'm not. What I'm actually doing is exercising a desire to be turned on while not actually being so. Furthermore, when I am getting a rush of blood to the head penis, I'm lacking the energy to do anything about it, so I just curl up into a little ball and wait for it to go away.*2
So what do I do? This morning was particularly odd; I got about zero sleep last night (due to an unfortunate set of incidents which really should go in a personal blog), tossing and turning and moaning to myself about the radiator being too hot while not actually being arsed to get up and turn it off myself (huzzah, lethargy). When I finally decided I was awake, I realised I was neither 'up' nor 'down', a bit like the Grand old Duke's men, only not fictional. Decided I was up, then was about to take care of myself - and, quite literally, flopped.

Fuck.

So I've decided that it's nothing whatsoever to do with me. It's all this chocolate. And the only way to get rid of the chocolate is to eat it. So over the next few days I may be occupied with a tube of Minstrels and two Terry's Chocolate Oranges.

And then maybe I'll get my sex drive back.*3

*1 Eventually, though, my sex drive returned of its own accord. Well, that, coupled with the fact that I bought about 3 new DVDs from Amazon's secret archives.
*2 Which is what I did up until the age of 17 whenever I found myself with an erection.
*3 Of course, girls, that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy you stripping off for me. See it as a challenge, n'est-ce pas?

Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Addiction II: Lickitung

I know blowjobs are popular. I don't exactly fail to see why - there is something about a girl's (or boy's, if you swing that way) mouth wrapped around your hard penis that isn't found anywhere else. It's much more delicate than a vagina, and there's always teeth and lips and a tongue to get in the way (or assist, depending on how you like your blowjob and what your girl will do for you!). Given the choice, I'd rather slide into a wet vagina. But a nice blowjob makes a good precursor to sex.

So why is cunnilingus so taboo?

OK, maybe it isn't actually taboo. I know it happens a lot of the time. You do see it prevalently in porn. Hard porn often has a man licking a girl out before they get down to it, and in the world of soft porn, there's nary an episode of Bedtime Stories which goes without it... probably because it's easy to film.
But let's put this into perspective... have you ever seen a hard porn scene which doesn't start with a blowjob? When I've had sex, it's rarely actually started with a BJ. For me, the necessary precursor is cunnilingus, which doesn't seem overly necessary to some porn directors... or some boys.

I love licking a girl out. It's so different from sliding a hard penis or finger into her, and it can really give her a lot of pleasure. There's a knack to it, too... a knack that, apparently, I have. I hope the girls aren't lying but, judging by the number of orgasms I've induced with my tongue, I should think not. There have even been times where all that's happened is me giving oral sex until she orgasms, and that's it.
The best way to lick a girl out is something like this:

(i) Her legs need to be open, but comfortable. If her legs are open for too long, her hips can get tired. (Seriously, you try it. It hurts.) If she's not comfortable, she won't enjoy it. You should be there for a long time (I've done about half an hour before), and that's important!
(ii) Start by licking her inner thighs. These babies don't get enough attention. If you tease her special area, she'll want it even more. It's best to start licking around her vulva, too.
(iii) If you get some on your cheek... forget it. It's your own saliva, for God's sake.
(iv) When you reach her vagina, lick all the way from top to bottom, and back up again. It just helps, okay? Trust me.
(v) You can sometimes work your tongue in a circular motion. I've always found that, if there's room to do this, spreading it clockwise in a steady rhythm really helps build yourself (and her) up.
(vi) Don't forget that there's a lot of space inside her. I've sometimes curled my tongue up and tried to slide it in. It really doesn't work. But try and get your tongue in a bit. It works for me.
(vii) The clitoris stimulates a girl. Whatever you do, get it hard. It can be found at the top of her folds and licked or sucked. But for the love of God remember it's there.
(viii) A girl's juices generally taste salty and slightly bitter. Personally, I think it tastes great. But remember to swallow. You don't want to go making too much of a mess if she's busy doing that already.
(ix) If she orgasms, just keep licking. And gulp it down. You'll know if she orgasms because there'll be a slight 'spreading' sensation around the area of your nose and mouth. She may also scream something like "I'm coming!", too. Er, but don't count on that.
(x) You may need to breathe. So just breathe deeply a few times and then keep going. It's not a contest to show your manliness, it's giving oral sex.
(xi) Don't stop until you're sure she wants you to stop. A good indication is when she's come once and seems to want more. Then I'd see if she's OK with you making love to her.

Of course, everyone is different. So I advise you, furthermore, to discard all the guidelines above and go with the flow. This is sex, it's not maths. I don't even like maths.
But if you've never licked a girl out, I really do advise you try it. It's gorgeous. North Pole 17 with Peter North and Ariah gives a good idea of what a fantastic orgasm you can yield with the power of your mouth!

And now I'm so hot I wish I had a girl to lick. I'm in the mood to spend a night with a pair of thighs clasped around my ears...

Tuesday, 25 December 2007

O come let us adore her!

I like Jesus, so I like Christmas.

Today was spent wavering between 'extremely turned on' (the ILB personality) and 'just pleased to be here' (the other personality). I have some very attractive cousins, one of whom is large in a certain area which she accentuates through wearing corsets and ridiculously small tops. (But she's my cousin! That's just... well, wrong!)

Anyway, happy Christmas, and if anyone wants to give me love/shags, I'm open for extra Christmas gifts until next Christmas.

Sunday, 23 December 2007

Addiction I: Soft Porn

No matter what people say, there is a difference between pornography and erotica. I suppose one could even claim that there is a difference between soft porn and erotica.

But I digress.

Erotica has a point. It actually has a storyline, which makes the sex that much more arousing. I do understand that there are pornographic films, where there are storylines. This much is true; however, from the porn I've seen, once the first sex scene has happened, it's the cue for seemingly endless sex scenes distracting from the main point of the film. Plus, the sex scenes are often disgusting - graphic insertions of an erect penis, complete with hair and the blemishes of old age, into basically any hole available? Followed by the camera actually staying in that spot for five minutes while the penis pumps in and out... Lord, it's nauseating.
Erotica truly gets it, however. There's a storyline, then a tasteful sex scene. OK, so there's no actual sex going on. You'd be a fool to think it were. Yet the scenes concentrate much more on what's important during sex - a lot of depictions of the whole body, wrapped around the other body, for example. There's usually well-crafted music going on, clever camera angles, and expressions on the actors' faces which actually persuade you that they are, indeed, engaged in coitus. And their bodies' movement doesn't hurt, either.

End of scene, more storyline. And so soft porn films go. Hell, in some films the scenes don't even finish before there's a cut to another scene.
I do know that erotic films exist mostly to deliver sex scenes, but in films like Femalien, The Virgins of Sherwood Forest, Sex Court: The Movie and the Emmanuelle series with Krista Allen, there's a plot in the background somewhere, which actually makes it much more worthwhile when someone has sex with someone they really shouldn't (or in a place they really shouldn't, or... perhaps the best reason of all... because they can and they just feel like it). And the addition of humour always works wonders.

Soft porn is an art form. Hard porn may make you orgasm, but it's nowhere near as pleasant. Basically, I'd enjoy Laura Angel much more were the penis to actually stay inside her.

I had an orgasm earlier on today during cybersex. Another one later on with the aid of soft porn. I really shouldn't have been masturbating so soon after the first time. I may be addicted, but I'm also now rather sore...

Dating Sites

I've tried dating sites a few times. Well, okay, that's a lie; I've tried more dating sites than I actually have the money to try. But, being sexless, curious and rather overtly geeky, I ran the idea of dating sites through my thought process like this:

- Can it hurt? (No.)
- Okay, let's do it.

Let's make it clear that I'm not talking match.com-stylée dating sites. I believe I registered for match.com once (maybe I didn't, I can't remember). I probably thought it was shit. What I do remember is watching an advert for it on TV with a lady I was attempting to seduce, and telling her match.com was shit. (I did, in fact, then sleep with her, so maybe it works...)
What I'm talking about, as you'll have guessed, happens to be the huge collection of adult dating sites out there. I've tried Adult Friend Finder, Sex in the UK, Fling!, Eroticy, WildMatch and SexSearch.com. And probably a few others which have made very little impression on me at all. All but one of them has completely failed to yield any results for me whatsoever. Not that I mean I got no contact from any of them - on my 'alternative' MSN list there are no less than 41 contacts, not including me - but that only ever met one lady from any of them. And if you want to know whom, read the previous paragraph.

The type of person an adult dating site works for will almost definitely be either:
- A man with a lot of muscles.
- A girl.

And not just any girl. Adult dating sites are havens for unscrupulous girls who are merely looking to make a quick profit. Girls who I've talked to from these sites have freely admitted to this after I've managed to talk them into a corner... others have flatly refused to admit anything. What they will talk about, every one of them, is their webcam. Something like:

Girl: "hello?"
ILB: "Hi. I hope you don't mind me adding you; I found you on [insert site here]."
Girl: "what r u lookin 4 honee"
ILB: "Just someone to talk to for now, always good to meet new people."
Girl: "do u want 2 view my webcam honee"
[And thus, it begins.]
ILB: "Sure. I can see that your MSN display picture has a webcam icon under it; shall I click it?"
Girl: "oh no hun"
[The icon disappears.]
Girl: "my cam is set up for a special site, you can get to it here http://tinyurl.com/r4nd0mnum83r5"
[TinyURL doesn't seem to have much of a use except for webcam girls.]
Girl: "i'll tell u how to get an account, if u sign up wiv my details u won't have to spend anything"
ILB: "...Buh?!"

That's just a lie. Of course you have to spend something. The responses "but you can get it refunded hun", "it's only a registration fee" and "it's only $3, what's $3?" are often used. What they fail to mention is to actually view any webcams, you have to pay more money. And I may be silly sometimes... but I'm not stupid.
The other trick webcam girls will pull is claiming they have sex with everyone who views their webcam. C'mon, everyone? You're that desperate for money? If you're actually as hot as your sample pictures show, don't you have a boyfriend by now?

Oh, and one more thing... they're all in the Philippines.

So, no more dating sites. No more webcam girls. My money's going on buying soft porn from dodgy downloading sites. Or maybe just one more try...

Friday, 21 December 2007

In The Beginning...

Welcome to my sex blog. This is a rather risky (and/or risqué) thing to do, and I'm unsure exactly how I'll go about introducing myself, so I'll do it in a FAQ style.

Who are you?
Telling you who I really am is not really the point of this blog! I'll call myself Innocent Loverboy, or perhaps ILB for short. I know it sounds cheesy, but that's kind of deliberate.

Age / Sex / Location?
22 years old / Male / London.

What's this blog for?
This is a sex blog. I created it to write about sex and my feelings towards sex.

Why did you create it?
There are a number of reasons. The main one is that I have a lot to say about sex and sexual habits, and I'd probably feel more comfortable talking about them anonymously than in a personal manner. I do have a personal journal, but I'm not linking it to here! I'm going to attempt to remain anonymous beyond being called ILB!
I suppose this is somewhat different from other sex blogs. There are lots of sex blogs to be read, and the most popular ones by far are by women. Of course, not all of them are by women, but the most 'commercially' successful have been, of course, Abby Lee's Girl with a One-Track Mind and Belle de Jour's Diary of a London Call Girl - both of which I would recommend.
This one is written by a boy - and a different kind of boy, truth be told.

What makes you so different?
There are, again, a number of reasons for this:
(i) I place much more value on love then sex. I'm not saying that other people don't (by all accounts, other people should), but to me, love is vital - sex is just a side-effect. I can both merge and separate the two very quickly. I also fall in love very easily. However, I rarely (if ever) have sexual fantasies about people I am in love with. It tends to spoil it.
(ii) Despite being (and I have been told this, so I'm not boasting) an incredibly attractive boy, with good looks and natural charm, I have an abysmal success rate. My musings on sex are based mostly around masturbation. I masturbate a lot (perhaps not as much as Alison Angel... but a lot), and perhaps I'll write just after orgasm, as that's when I'll be most thoughtful!
(iii) I like softcore erotica. I don't like hardcore porn nearly as much.
(iv) I'm genuine and honest. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs or even eat meat. And it's not all a facade, that's just who I am.
(v) I'm incredibly shy to ask people out. In fact, I don't ask people out. I have such a morbid fear of rejection that I don't even try. Otherwise, I'm quite an outgoing person.
Basically, I'm not your typical 'lad'. Not trying to stereotype boys, of course, but the unfair image that has been applied to them definitely doesn't apply to me. I don't even like sports of any kind! In real life, the idea that 'boys only want one thing' isn't true. In fact, in many cases they can be much more romantic than girls! I'd keep that in mind while reading my blog.

Why are you using Blogger?
A lot of sex journals are written in Blogger. There are better blog services out there, such as LiveJournal. However, places like LJ are much more personal-based and it may not be very prudent to start a blog there if I wish to remain anonymous! Also, quality of blog service doesn't equal quality of blog! There are sex blogs on LJ that are truly atrocious!

How many people have you had sex with? / When did you last have sex? / How often do you have sex?
I have had sex with three people:
- One long-term girlfriend (we lasted a year and a half).
- One close friend (a few times).
- One "lover" (a brief sexual relationship).
I am now single. I've been single for a few years. I can't find anyone who's willing to go out with me (or even have sex with me). At the time of writing, the last time I had sex was approximately a year ago.

Why did you break up with your girlfriend?
My one and only relationship so far ended because she was sleeping with other people. Continuously. I was very forgiving and put up with a lot throughout our relationship - probably too much. In the end, she decided she liked her fuckbuddy more than me, and asked him out. She dated him for two weeks while simultaneously being in a relationship with me. Then, and only then, did she deign it reasonable to tell me she was leaving me.
The moronic thing about this whole scenario was that, being of high intellect, I had worked it out days before she said anything to me. I just didn't do anything about it. I told myself that if I'd been a better boyfriend, it wouldn't have happened. Months later (months which included being taken to hospital on Christmas Day for attempted suicide), I realised that I hadn't done anything wrong - it wasn't my fault. And yet for some reason I still felt guilty.
The girl in question was dumped by her new boyfriend a couple of weeks later. She asked for me back, and I refused.

Can I talk to you? / Will you go out with me? / Will you sleep with me?
Okay, those last two questions just aren't going to be asked, are they? Buf if you're 18 to 30 and female, chances are I'd say yes to either of those!
Anyway, if you want to talk to me, feel free to make liberal use of the comment feature on this blog or e-mail me - I'm a nice person, really!
If I'm bothering you, tell me and I'll stop.

What do you look like?
I'm reasonably tall for my age. I'd describe myself as 'average build' even though I do have a slightly large stomach (although apparently I'm the only one who sees it as being large, everyone else says it's fine!). I have medium-length black hair, and sparkly blue eyes (my eyes are the only feature about my physical appearance I'm totally happy with).

OK, well, that's enough for now. I'll try to write in this blog as much as I can, as long as it doesn't interrupt my pretty much non-active social life! And if it's fun, mission accomplished. If I manage to get a lot of sexual issues out into the open, plus one point. If people read this, plus two points. If it gets me laid... er... is there a number bigger than a googolplex?