Anyway, I never really got past the first couple of scenes, probably because I had no idea where I was going with it. Taking another look at it today, I decided that it would probably work best as a short film: about seven or so minutes of laughs, stargazing and sex. So I left it where it was, added a bit of an ending and retooled it as a short.
Since I'm not really about to do anything else with this, I'm putting the script up here (under a Creative Commons license):
Hooray for the sharing of (un)finished projects! Of course, one day I may have to post some fiction here too...
* If you're getting the "forbidden" message, try copy-and-pasting the link, and/or refreshing the page - it works after a few tries!