Friday, 2 June 2017

You give me fever...

I was awake last Saturday morning for just about long enough to decide that, yes, I was decidedly ill. It had been a bad night - not just because of the heat, but because I couldn't drop off to sleep at all - and then, when I started to feel tired towards daybreak, my IBS decided that this was a really good time to flare up and keep me awake for a few more hours. I called my Saturday job to tell them that I wasn't coming in (and got complained at because it was 'very short notice'), lay down in a pool of sweat and cloud of malaise... and then I fell asleep.

In my fever and semi-comatose state, I wasn't certain about anything, much. I remember snatches of things - a persistent buzz which I thought was in my head, but it turned out there was a bee in the room; occasional commentary and loud bangs which were a result of my girlfriend having the TV on and watching Gladiators on Challenge?; split-seconds of intense lucidity wherein I suddenly felt awake, alert and focused, only to instantly slide back into my daze. At some points between then and about 3pm (when, I am reliably informed, I woke up), I was genuinely asleep.

This I know because I had one of the most explicit fever-dreams I've ever had.

I don't often dream about sex (although when I do, I usually find a place to write about it...) and, when I do, it's usually in softcore - or, more often, I don't get to have sex after all. If I do, then it's usually with the wrong person. Nevertheless, if sex does happen, there's usually someone I know involved.

In my fever-dream, a whole new cast of characters was invented, who all seemed to instantly click as a group at the drop of a hat (basically like every single series of Co-Ed Confidential - also similar in that some of those characters don't appear to have names...). Nobody real was there, and yet they all seemed relatively sexually keen. The action took place in my local market town, on the street next to the market. And, yes, two of my brand new team were having sex. Like, a lot of sex.

That's basically it. That's the dream. I was standing watching two people have sex. I may have even shouted "Awooga!" at one point, but that probably wasn't me.

What I remember as being so unusual was how explicit this actually was. There was a full view of a flushing, glistening vagina - much bigger than one should be - and there was a gargantuan, incredibly thick cock that slid effortlessly into it. There was speed, there was strength and there was a lot of mess on the ground (that'll cost the Council a lot, cleaning up the pavement) and, at the end of it all, there was some globular, bubbly white stuff, which I'm assuming was meant to be cum, but looked nothing at all like it (colour notwithstanding). Repeat.

If any of you have seen the Flash animation called Diva Mizuki, it was kind of like that - although it looked real. I was certainly unconcerned about the fact that two friends I don't know were having incredibly close-up sex in public (and on market day, no less). As far as I was concerned, that was pretty much meant to be happening.

So that's my fever dream. I can't say it made me horny, particularly. It didn't even make me too confused. Maybe it was just a result of my brain taking advantage of me finally getting a small amount of genuine sleep, throwing everything into a blender and then projecting that at me in case any of it made sense. I certainly felt a little refreshed when I woke up, and it was a lot less upsetting than the one I had the other night, which involved being in the cast of Hamilton and having to watch my girlfriend kissing Brody from Glee while rehearsing.

What's bugging me about this, however, and the reason I remember it so vividly (UNUSUALLY LARGE PENIS notwithstanding), is the fact that the male participant - whoever he was meant to be - was scarily familiar. He certainly wasn't anyone I know, but he wasn't generic enough to be Joe Public. He had defined features, olive skin and shiny dark hair (and a huge penis) and I have, genuinely, no idea who he was. All I can remember was that, in the dream, I knew him.

My brain can invent some crazy things sometimes. Unnamed crazy things. Either that, or he was Beau in Seattle...

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