Sunday, 26 November 2017

Soft Porn Sunday: Erika Jordan & Darcie Dolce

One of the things I like the most about soft porn is that, due to the nature of the beast, there are always sections of dialogue, basically filling up space between all the sex scenes. As a subgenre, erotic sci-fi generally does this in an idiosyncratically ridiculous way: technobabble that doesn't actually mean anything; alien species who look like, act like and speak the same language as humans from Earth; CGI sequences which are more reminiscent of ReBoot than Star Wars; everybody female in the intergalactic cosmos is beautiful, busty and bisexual. But, oddly enough, they're not having nearly enough sex.

Except in this film. Which is mostly sex. By which I mean almost entirely. It's the dialogue that makes it, though, if you can hear it over all the boobs.

Appearance: Escape from Pleasure Planet (2016)
Characters: Aria & Pleasure Android

The premise behind the plot for this thing is helpfully explained fairly near the beginning. Beautiful, busty, bisexual Princess Dianna (yes), played by Blair Williams, is celebrating her royal birthday by visiting an interstellar brothel - presumably the titular "Pleasure Planet" - in order to enjoy herself with one of the famous beautiful, busty, bisexual 'pleasure androids' (Darcie Dolce), which she duly does, providing the viewers with a watery, lusty lesbian sex scene and adding a whole new dimension to the term "royally fucked".

What she doesn't know - incidentally we don't know this either - is that Cassia (Veronica Vain, who is beautiful, busty, bisexual and doesn't appear to own a bra), who operates the planet, is secretly working for intergalactic tyrant Aria (Erika Jordan). Aria turns up and attacks the planet; the princess and her bodyguard escape, and Cassia is dispatched to find and retrieve her, as with her capture, Aria can take over the universe. I can't say I didn't find myself wanting her to succeed.

At this point the film's budget presumably ran out, because the rest of the action takes place on Earth.

Cue the dialogue.

Told you she didn't own a bra.
"Cassia to Master Aria, come in. I've located the princess on the third planet from the star of Braxis."
[Pause.]
"Come in. Aria? Hello?"
[Pause.]
"What is she doing?"

Oh.
There's a lesson in this somewhere. Something about not leaving a beautiful, busty and bisexual intergalactic warlord on a planet completely vacant of inhabitants save for a sentient robot whose only skills involve sex. I can't quite put my finger on it.

There's plenty to say about the ensuing five minutes of incredibly intense lesbian action. They both start out naked, so there's no time spent disrobing. We are thrown directly into the sex, which manages to incorporate kissing, cunnilingus, nipple-sucking and mutual masturbation all within the first thirty seconds! Blimey, movie - you're spoiling us!

For all that they had available (and the end credits suggest this entire film was made in one day, which is very impressive if true), they manage to keep this scene not just entertaining, but well-shot as well as keeping it stimulating. There are technical limits to what you can show with lesbian soft porn, and yet by employing varying camera angles, numerous bits of the set (there's a large pool there, but a lot of the sex happens out of it), and switching up some of the action every now and again, this is incredibly well-thought out.

There's a lot to be said for the actors, too. Darcie Dolce does her thing as the pleasure android,
I'd be her loyal subject.
although we've already seen her at it with the princess. She does the writhing and moaning well, though, and both gives and receives with a pleasing amount of gusto. Erika Jordan, however, is something else. She is absolutely stunning - gorgeous red hair, a body that's well-proportioned without being too thin (which I don't like), captivating eyes and, yes, great boobs. There's also something to be said for Aria being a would-be universe-conquering tyrant who's clearly turned off her communicator to have sex for a while. It's naughty. It's fun. It's not meant to happen, yet it is happening, and I love that.


Something else that I've noticed (and it's probably only me) is that there's an unexpected power dynamic going on throughout. As Aria is a commander and the pleasure android is... well... a pleasure android, you'd expect Aria to be on the receiving end all the time (and, in fact, that's how the scene starts). But as it develops, she ends up giving just as much as she's getting - taking control herself and touching or licking her android to orgasm, being a giver without becoming too subservient. The android, of course, spends plenty of time between Aria's legs to bring her off, but there's no clear leader between the two of them, and they both seem like they are genuinely enjoying themselves.

Forgive me, Aria, for I have sinned.
However, none of this wonderful lesbian cornucopia would be half as arousing were it not for the jump cut directly after the dialogue above. There's about half a second of exasperation from an oblivious Cassia before we are thrown immediately into the midst of sex, complete with nudity, licking, set and music (the music is an odd '80s-style synthy pop loop; it's odd, but it really fits the scene). It's a truck driver's gear change of a cut, but the sudden incongruity (and the fact that you've worked out exactly what's about to happen within that half-second) and the fact that the hot and heavy action slaps you right in the face is incredibly difficult to ignore.

So much so, in fact, that when reviewing this, I was hard from the moment the dialogue started.

The rest of the sex in this film - and there's plenty of it - is pretty routine, though shot in the same
That's some serious hair action.
style. It's arousing enough, but there's just something about this one that makes it special. Maybe it's the way its set up, the way it starts, the actors themselves, the way they've played it, or just Erika Jordan herself. But whatever it is, these six minutes (seriously, it's that long) are worth the rest of the film. just by themselves. Of course, they don't make any sense without the rest of the film, but...


It works for me, in any case. It really, really, really works for me. All hail Aria, our new, naked, lustful intergalactic overlord.

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