Sunday, 18 February 2018

Eroticon 2018: Meet & Greet

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It's That Time Again, so it seems. That's not the name of a wartime comedy on BBC Radio, though; it's my sneaky way of telling you that I'm about to copy-and-paste the Eroticon 2018 Meet & Greet and hack it into pieces with my approximation of words.

The first thing I need to clarify is that I won't be attending all of Eroticon this year. It's my birthday on Saturday the 17th (I am accepting kisses...), and I've got tickets to see Hamilton that afternoon, so I won't be attending the final hour or so of Saturday's 'con. I'm not too fussed at missing the Kink Lab session, really, and you don't have to put up with my face for those precious few moments. Everybody wins!

Anyway, I will be there for:

- The Friday night drinks
- Saturday morning
- Saturday lunch-time
- Saturday evening entertainment
- Sunday (all day)

Plus, y'know, Hamilton. Because that's important.

With that in mind, here are the questions...


Name (and Twitter, if you have one)

Apparently it is still "Innocent Loverboy", although this is commonly abbreviated to ILB (pronounced "I'll be" or "aiulbuhh" if you are drunk). I'll probably answer to most other things, to be honest, under the delusion that anyone wants to talk to me.

Oh, and I'm on Twitter as @innocentlb. I'm also on Ello, Twoo (formerly, and Quora, although I have no idea how that one happened. I'm also probably on Google Plus by default, as I have a Google account and everything.

What are you most looking forward to about Eroticon 2018?

Hamilton doesn't count, right?

Seriously, though, it really is all about seeing everyone. There's always the convenient myth that we all know each other and bump into each other ALL THE FREAKING TIME, but that never happens. Tight though the community may be, we don't really do anything this big apart from meeting at Eroticon, and that's what I'm looking forward to. That's why I keep going!

We are creating a playlist of songs for the Friday Night Meet and Greet. Nominate one song that you would like us to add to the playlist and tell us why you picked that song.

Holy wow, a new question! I'm going to go for Nothing but Love by James, because it's odd, but empowering, and most people have heard it without realising what it is or who it's by. And it's got the word "Love" in the title, so it speaks to my condition.

What’s the first career you dreamed of having as a kid?

When I was five, I told the educational psychologist that I wanted to be a "film director". I don't actually remember this, but I remember wanting to be a palaeontologist when I was about two, because I was interested in dinosaurs; of course I was interested in dinosaurs - I was two.

I had clearer ideas about what I didn't want to do when I was older - I think one of the things I discounted was singing opera, which is odd because I love to sing. Predictably, one of the other things on that list was the thing I now do professionally, because of course.

Weirdest place you’ve ever gotten up to mischief (define ‘mischief’ however you like…)

You mean sex here, right? You can't fool me with your 'however you like' rhetoric. I'M ONTO YOU.

Uhm, anyway, the oddest place I've had sex is in the little cubbyhole above the driver's seat in a motorhome. It wasn't very good sex, because there wasn't any room to move (and I'm a little claustrophobic sometimes, so sleeping in the same place later on that day wasn't fun), but I seriously doubt we would have had sex in any other part of said motorhome.

That's a lie. We totally would have.

Tell us two truths and a lie about yourself.

(i) I'm a radical socialist and have always been, but the first time I was eligible to vote in a general election, I voted Conservative, for a laugh.

(ii) I have never had sexual intercourse outside.

(iii) I have never been to North America, South America, Asia, Africa, Australia or Antarctica. Effectively, I've never never ventured outside Europe.

Complete the sentence: I want...

to dance a pirouette; want to fall on the floor like a marionette; I want to walk on stilts until my legs drop off; be saved from the sea by David Hasselhoff.


Girl on the Net said...

Haha, it doesn't necessarily mean 'sex' =) We added the 'however you like' so that people who didn't want to do real-life sex stuff could interpret another way so they wouldn't need to feel they had to say a sex thing!

Looking forward to seeing you and catching up, and obviously gutted (for us, but pleased for you) that we'll lose you for a little while to the joys of Hamilton!

molly said...

Ahhh I was utterly convinced you would pick Sit Down by James but I got the artist right. And I fairly confident that the lie is No.1


Anonymous said...

As someone who’s a serious traveler I’m really hoping that last one is a lie, but I’ll actually go with 1 as the lie. It sounds like it’ll be a nice birthday weekend for you!

Cara T

Innocent Loverboy said...

@GOTN: I know - but c'mon, seriously, who isn't going to mention sex? I have a friend who gave a blowjob on a crowded dancefloor, though; that's pretty hardcore. I know you've seen Hamilton, so you probably understand how important it is.

@Molly: Every time I mention James I usually pick a song that isn't Sit Down. For a band that's been active since 1978 you'd think people know they have more than one track...

@Cara: Let's hope it is, after all, a nice weekend. I've recently found out I have a thing on the Sunday evening, as well, so I don't expect I'll be having much sleep at all, really.

Number one is the lie, of course. It's my dad who actually voted Conservative. He's spent the rest of his life voting Labour as penance.

Pixie Heart said...

Hi, hay, hello!

Great song choice!

It’s your birthday weekend? Should I bring you cake?


Innocent Loverboy said...

You know what, I would love some cake.

I'm actually the King of Cakes. My ex told me this, so it must be true.

It will be good to see you anyway, cake or no cake!

May More said...

I know the size of those Cubby holes I have slept in them when i was a small young thing - u need a congratulation for that ;-)

Aurora Glory said...

Really enjoyed reading your meet and greet! I hope you enjoy Hamilton on the Saturday!
Aurora x